Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize