LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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