I got chris browned last night
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize