i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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