Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize