I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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