I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
and you fell through a lawn chair
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize