Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Enjoy the penises
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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