There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize