this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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