Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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