Sry I called you an 8
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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