he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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