he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize