I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
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I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
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His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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