You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
And then he peed in my hair
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