your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
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I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
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You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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