I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Randomize