My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
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