i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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