i already hear my dad disowning me
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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