haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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