just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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