i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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