nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize