Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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