she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a blender
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize