i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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