I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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