So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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