First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
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