how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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