do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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