just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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