hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
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On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
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Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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