Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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