Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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