if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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