he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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