i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize