I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
so much tequila, so little girl.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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