It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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