I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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