I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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