first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize