i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
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Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
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They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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