I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize