My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize