We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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