Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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